Conceived. Born. Raised. Southern Baptist...Old School, very old school.
I was born in the Summer of 1969 (for some of you...a Bryan Adams tune is now playing in your head) to the Reverend and Mrs. Stanley (Grace) D. Day. I would be the last of their four children. My dad was a bi-vocational Southern Baptist pastor; my mom was a pastor's wife and homemaker. He had surrendered to the ministry and finished his schooling at Clark and William Carey in Mississippi before moving our family to Ponchatoula, Louisiana in February of 1970 to pastor at Millville Baptist Church. A church that is still very much a part of my life. A church that you will get to know if you follow this girl and her heart. A place where many of my philosophies, convictions, and burdens were born.Needless to say, my parents brought me to church, taught me about God and His love, lived out their faith daily (and still do), encouraged, by that, I mean required my siblings and me to go to church and follow the teachings of Christ. I spent the better part of my childhood and teenage years trying to figure out this God thing. I walked the aisle, wrote my name on the card, was baptized...and...repeated as needed. Well, at least that was my twisted version of salvation.
I strove to make sense of the longing in my heart for something more. Something meaningful. I tried to BE the best Christian I could be. I tried. I prayed. I read. I failed. I tried. I prayed. I read. I failed. It seemed to be a cycle of defeat. I was not able to adhere to the principles. I longed for so much more. I had become a victim of the school of thought called legalism. I was my worst judge. I tried to live to the law of the land, but failed miserably leaving me doubting and evaluating what was wrong with me.
By definition:
le·gal·ism
noun
1. strict adherence, or the principle of strict adherence, to law or prescription, especially to the letter rather than the spirit.
2. Theology.
a. the doctrine that salvation is gained through good works.
b. the judging of conduct in terms of adherence to precise laws.
I spent years trying to live the life that my parents had taught me about. I spent years trying to live the abundant life my dad so often preached about. What was wrong with me? I was a miserable failure at this walk with Christ thing. As a teenager, I would rebel, attend church, go to youth camp, rededicate my life, and start the cycle of delusion all over again. I prayed but my prayers did not seem to get past the ceiling...certainly they were not making their way to God..so why do this, right. I was pretty certain that God was thoroughly disappointed in my success (or lack there of) at living the Christian life. I mean he had given me the greatest examples and surrounded me with godly people...why could I not get this right. Why was I living this meaningless life while my heart longed for so much more. I knew that my failure was not a result due to the lack of motivation. I was driven to make religion work for me, but to no avail.
Well, that is until the fall of 1990 (no catchy tune here). Brian and I were volunteer youth directors at Millville Baptist Church. However, I was still struggling with my own inner battle of keeping the rules. On this particular day, I was sitting in the stairwell of White Hall on the campus of Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond when I had a life changing realization. It was that day that I finally grasped the truth that the God thing was not about rules (legalism), but about a relationship!
By definition:
I spent years trying to live the life that my parents had taught me about. I spent years trying to live the abundant life my dad so often preached about. What was wrong with me? I was a miserable failure at this walk with Christ thing. As a teenager, I would rebel, attend church, go to youth camp, rededicate my life, and start the cycle of delusion all over again. I prayed but my prayers did not seem to get past the ceiling...certainly they were not making their way to God..so why do this, right. I was pretty certain that God was thoroughly disappointed in my success (or lack there of) at living the Christian life. I mean he had given me the greatest examples and surrounded me with godly people...why could I not get this right. Why was I living this meaningless life while my heart longed for so much more. I knew that my failure was not a result due to the lack of motivation. I was driven to make religion work for me, but to no avail.
Well, that is until the fall of 1990 (no catchy tune here). Brian and I were volunteer youth directors at Millville Baptist Church. However, I was still struggling with my own inner battle of keeping the rules. On this particular day, I was sitting in the stairwell of White Hall on the campus of Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond when I had a life changing realization. It was that day that I finally grasped the truth that the God thing was not about rules (legalism), but about a relationship!
By definition:
re·la·tion·ship
noun
1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association; dependence
de·pend·ence
noun
I had spent years trying to be the Christian that I knew God (and my parents) wanted me to be. I was depending on my knowledge of God, my understanding of the law, and my adherence to the rituals and traditions of religion to bring me into the very presence of God...the very thing my heart had longed for since childhood. It took me a while to figure out that the longing could only be filled by a dependence, a personal relationship, with God through His son, Jesus Christ.
Walking down the aisle, attending Sunday School, singing in the choir, being baptized, keeping the rules of the church/denomination...no drinking, no dancing, confession, regular church attendance, giving of your monies, volunteering your time, saying prayers, reading Scripture...in and of themselves, these acts are not wrong, but if you are relying on rituals/traditions/laws to fill the longing in your heart that is only meant to be filled with a relationship with God...you will be left unfulfilled!
I am so thankful that the very One that placed the longing in my heart...has filled it! The best part of it is that He has placed new longings in my heart in the process of fulfilling others!
1.
the state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like.
2.
reliance; confidence; trust
I had spent years trying to be the Christian that I knew God (and my parents) wanted me to be. I was depending on my knowledge of God, my understanding of the law, and my adherence to the rituals and traditions of religion to bring me into the very presence of God...the very thing my heart had longed for since childhood. It took me a while to figure out that the longing could only be filled by a dependence, a personal relationship, with God through His son, Jesus Christ.
Walking down the aisle, attending Sunday School, singing in the choir, being baptized, keeping the rules of the church/denomination...no drinking, no dancing, confession, regular church attendance, giving of your monies, volunteering your time, saying prayers, reading Scripture...in and of themselves, these acts are not wrong, but if you are relying on rituals/traditions/laws to fill the longing in your heart that is only meant to be filled with a relationship with God...you will be left unfulfilled!
I am so thankful that the very One that placed the longing in my heart...has filled it! The best part of it is that He has placed new longings in my heart in the process of fulfilling others!
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